when one had enough…
upset. angry.
these are the 2 words that are in my vocab currently. i dont think i’m over-sensitive but not only me but my colleague also is feeling the same way about what i’m going thru.
i love working and i love to help. anyone who comes up to me and ask me to assist them to do things, i will just help without any much thought. sometimes, i will even help knowing that i have tons and tons of my own work to clear. it is just in me. not only that, i will work my ass off to make sure that everything is in order- be it for my department (work) or even for my family. (most of the time it is for work)
but i guess, some people started to take advantage of the whole situation. they know that they can always get me to complete their work for them. but i guess enough is enough.
i’m one who always will try to get all my work and things done as soon as i can. i can’t sleep if things are not completed. i get worried and edgy. people started learning my trades and started to take advantage of the situation. they know that i’m one who would want to get things done and make it perfect. i started doing their work, their assignments, their exam papers, their orders. and the list never stops.
just this week, i had to prepare a paper for someone else, order food for their event, prepare another paper to be handed up next week and best.. go for a course, learn the skill and prepare the work for them! because, they are just too busy to do those things themselves! [read: busy means scoring high points for their FB games]
i’m not being calculative. but if you are really busy, i really wouldn’t mind helping.. but i guess, you think only you have a family and a life. if i’m already doing ALL the work that u need me to, might as well, i take over ur job and get ur pay as well!
and best thing is that when i have completed all the things needed, others get the recognition. fair?
people take advantage of my kindness. just because i’m a girl, it doesnt mean i will just take in all the crap and smile sweetly.
sometimes, i wish that i have other skills that i can move away from the industry i am in. sometimes, i wish that i have the courage to just quit my job and be a SAHM. sometimes, i wish and keep on wishing and hoping. sometimes, i cry every night thinking about what i have to go through the next day. i cry looking at my sons – knowing that i can’t always be there for them. knowing that i may not be able to go for their sports day, or even their prize giving day because i have my own work to handle. the government wants us to have more babies. i dont think monetary is the main issue but time is.
just this week, i asked my son to move away from me coz i was busy trying to finish someone else’s paper.
right now i have 3 options.
1. try to move awy to another location. [will be most likely but if i'm stopped in the midst of it...?]
2. get pregnant and have a 4 months break?
3. quit my job.
time to think for myself and my boys now.
